Sharyn
Hello Carol and thank you so much for giving me and the readers of this magazine the opportunity to get to know you a little better. I first met you in Lisbon, at the Neurolanguage Conference in 2019 and because we were staying in the same accommodation, we had a couple of nights when we cracked open a bottle of wine and talked until the early hours. I felt we bonded, but I have to say that I feel I have bonded with every Neurolanguage Coach I have met; it is an amazing group of people.
Carol
It’s a pleasure to talk to you Sharyn and yes, I love our NL community and also find I bond very easily with our like-minded members. And yes, I loved our evenings together in Lisbon and our day out sightseeing in the city, if you remember?
Sharyn
I do indeed. I remember you sitting on the wall while I dangled my toes in the sea water.
Carol, may I start by asking you where you were born?
Carol
I was born in London. My parents were students at university there when I came along. Sadly, in those days, my mother was obliged to give up her studies because she was pregnant – with me! Fortunately, she managed to get her degree in Zoology later in life and became a very successful Art teacher. Having obtained his degree, my father was doing his military service, RAF, (mandatory in those days) and after I was born, he was posted to Cyprus where we lived for a few years before returning to England. We moved around quite a lot due to dad’s work, finally settling in Reading, Berkshire, where I went to school.
Sharyn
Did your love of language start at school?
Carol
Yes, I loved French, chiefly because of my wonderful caring French teacher. I did English, German and French at A-level, although I would have preferred to have done Biology, French and Art. Regrettably, in those days, this too was not possible.
Sharyn
Did you go straight to university or did you take a gap year?
Carol
I took a gap year and spent 6 months as an au pair in Nantes in France improving my French and 6 months in London as a receptionist in a Language School.
Sharyn
And then you went to university to study French.
Carol.
That would have been the obvious choice but I decided to study Psychology instead. There is part of my soul which is definitely a scientist. My mother had a degree in Zoology, I had wanted to study Biology and so to me, Psychology was a place where arts and sciences came together. At that time, my mother was in hospital with a mental illness and I suppose, deep down, I was trying to understand her illness. Anyway, I went to Warwick University and enjoyed my studies there very much. Psychology helps you understand the brain, and hence people. It has proved to be an excellent foundation for my brain-based language learning and coaching journey.
Sharyn
So interesting, Carol. So now, what happened after your degree?
Carol.
Well, interestingly enough, I was very tempted to study Neurology, being very interested in learning more about the brain and human behaviour and language acquisition (one of my modules at Warwick was in Pyscho-Linguistics). However, in the end, I decided to take another leap and do a Masters in International Relations at the London School of Economics and Political Science (L.S.E.) I guess my love of languages and different cultures pulled me in this direction.
Sharyn
I was also at university in the 70s and it was such a great and fun time to be a student, wouldn’t you agree?
Carol
Absolutely! London in the 70s was glamorous and exciting. The mini skirt had arrived, there were maxi dresses, very high platform boots, plus lots of eyeliner. Jeans had arrived and of course, more importantly, the contraceptive pill (the anti-baby pill, as the Germans called it), which gave women choice over their own fertility and a new sense of freedom. We women could now have careers for as long as we desired, a far cry from the days when my mother had been obliged to leave university because of a pregnancy.
Sharyn
I understand you also took a modelling course in London?
Carol
Yes, I was tall with long hair of a very unusual colour and caught up in the glamour of the time. I needed a break after my academic studies and enrolled on a modelling course. However, my parents weren’t keen on the idea and dissuaded me from pursuing a modelling career. But I still have my certificate, who knows, maybe granny models are in demand?!
In retrospect, I often wonder about the roads not taken. What would my life have been like if I had become a neuroscientist or a top international model? One can only imagine.
Sharyn
So, out in the big wide world, what was your next move?
Carol
I found a job as a trainee Management Consultant with an American company based in Brussels and my professional life began abroad. It was very hard work and you had to commit to the company body and soul. There was very little free time but I learnt so much in a short space of time. However, after a couple of years, I committed the cardinal sin which was totally unacceptable to my company: I fell in love with one of my work colleagues. Shocking! Michel was French of Russian origin and the company did their best to keep us apart. In the end, Michel left the company to start his own business and I joined him and started intensive Russian learning!
Sharyn
Did you enjoy working with your partner?
Carol
Very much. Another huge learning curve! The company was involved in import and export and we had many trips to Russia and Ukraine (many of them during Soviet times) and various European countries. I worked with Michel for 10 years and then I became pregnant. This meant me leaving the company and spending five lovely years with my child before he went to school.
Sharyn
So when did your life as an English teacher begin?
Carol.
I needed a part-time job which would allow me to work during the day and be able to pick up my son after school. Finding part-time managerial posts in France was nigh impossible. Either you worked full-time or not at all. So I decided to take a one month intensive TEFL course. My particular course was linked to Harvard University and I found it very good. The course leader did an excellent job. From then on, I worked for a language school in Paris for 6 years, training adults in the business world. A very conventional scholarly approach. Not surprisingly, I eventually became extremely bored with teaching. In my book, if the teacher is bored, then so are the students. Not good. I was ready to drop it all and turn to something else, and that is when Rachel Paling entered my life.
Sharyn
Do you think it was fate?
Carol
Not entirely. As I knew what I was looking for. I searched for a whole year before finding what I wanted. As Rachel would say: “Follow the heart!” I had been following my heart and feel I had found hers embedded in this new and unique enterprise of hers, ELC. Excited, I immediately enrolled on her course having seen it was a brain-friendly approach to learning and coaching certification and was also ICF accredited. I just knew this was the way forward for me.
I was not disappointed and am still not disappointed. Had it not been for Rachel (ELC) and Richard Bentley (ICF) and their approach (originally based on David Rock’s research and practice on coaching), I would not be doing what I do today. The world I was looking for opened up. Grateful to this day that our paths crossed.
Sharyn
When did this course take place?
Carol
I think the training course started in 2013, which means I have been working as a certified Neurolanguage Coach for 7 years. My coachees seem to love what and how we do things together. It’s a delight each time, each step of the way.
Part of Neurolanguage Coaching is to do with helping the learner to learn, using their subconscious brain, rather than the conscious brain, which leads to better, more effective and efficient and sustainable results. Coaching in a brain-friendly way also enables, crucially, the coachee to feel more comfortable, less threatened on their learning journey. They are not always aware of my methods or the creativity which goes into our collaborative sessions, but the fact that they feel good and can see positive – and their desired – results, tells me we are on the right track. Coachees also develop ownership of their own learning. I could say so much more, suffice to say, they just keep coming back for more!
I also coach English learners of the French language.
Sharyn
You have described yourself as a life-long learner.
Carol
Absolutely! One of my mottos in life is, if you are not learning you’re not living! I haven’t done Rachel’s advanced course yet but I never stop reading and learning and practicing. After qualifying as a NL Coach, I got together with a few other newly qualified NL Coaches and together we embarked on more coaching training courses led by ICF-trained trainers.
I am totally committed to NL+Heart learning approach, and enjoy coaching using this approach applied to language learning. In my humble opinion, this is the way forward, the future of education in general, not just for language learning. All educational systems and institutions should be incorporating it, transforming teachers worldwide into brain-friendly coaches. Sadly, this is not (yet!) the case, some kids in some countries have no schooling at all.
Sharyn
Have you ever had anyone who didn’t respond well to your approach.
Carol.
Yes, once. This lady responded well to me, but insisted on wanting a more scholarly traditional approach and would not open up to anything else. We were on very positive friendly terms, but finally we agreed, mutually and amicably, to part company. It was best for both of us. We still cross paths in the company where she works and we update each other in the corridors. I get all the feedback on her progress from her trainer – a colleague of mine.
Sharyn
Finally could we talk about your son, Max? I believe he is fluent in French, Russian and and English, what a gift for life!
Carol.
Yes, from birth, even in the womb, Max started hearing and learning all three languages. We practised the OPOL method at home. He speaks English with me, Russian with dad until he started pre-school at age 4 when dad needed to introduce French at home, so we maintained Russian by having a live-in Russian-only speaking nanny. He speaks each language with a perfect accent and has so far managed to get a degree from UCL London University and is currently studying a masters in Paris at Sciences Po. Needless to say, I am so amazed with how he has handled his own learning journey; far beyond whatever I could have imagined. And of course I am so proud of him.
Sharyn
I hope you are proud of yourself too, Carol. I have a 10-month old granddaughter who is growing up in a bilingual home too. So I am very interested in the subject of bilingualism. Maybe we could do an article on this in the future?
Thank you so much for sharing your life with us. I know our readers will enjoy it.
Carol.
I have enjoyed the experience too. Thank you too for the opportunity to look back on my life, Always fascinating to realise what one forgets!
I would be very happy to do another chat on bi- and multi- lingualism – another one of my pet subjects too. Got lots to share! Thank you, again.
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